OMG! The allergies have flared up again. I have been scratching again at my itchy head and eyes and hence I am dragged kicking and mewling back to the dreaded vet. Don’t laugh; this is not funny! Imagine the indignity of having some nasty object unceremoniously shoved up your rear end and needles plunged into your neck, without a by-your-leave, or any polite civilised request? Us poor cat persons down here in south London are expected to take whatever gross medicine is dealt out without any due legal process. We are at the limit of available remedies for Tuti’s condition, the vet says, making a fair fist of mimicking the Work and Pensions Secretary and likewise confusing a chronic condition for malingering on feline disability benefits. But try these new pills, which have been passed for dogs but not yet OK-ed for cats, so just sign this form… Well, I am not having any of this! Not a single pill has passed my clenched teeth, and I am not the slightest bit fooled by pills wrapped up in fancy words, disguised in my biscuits (kibble), or in this nasty stuff the vet calls ‘putty’, which I wouldn’t feed to – well, a dog person.